Why are these words together?
Because it’s that time of the year again.
Time when we are busy working on taxes.
(Some more than others; and the “some” badly needed some humor to lighten things up.)
I put together this short collection of funnies.
Strange bedfellows and nightmares
They say politics makes strange bedfellows, but it’s the taxpayer who has the nightmare
There is now
A man made a Freedom of Information request
to the IRS, asking whether there was an audit file on him.
A week later he received the reply.
It said: “There is now.”
And that’s how you get to make BIG money
A CPA goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The shopkeeper shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says,
”The parrot on the left costs $500.”
“Why does that parrot cost so much?” Asks the CPA.
“Well”, replies the owner, “it knows how to do complex audits.”
“How much does the middle parrot cost”” ask the CPA.
“That one cost $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts.”
The startled CPA asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question, “What can it do?”
To which the owner replies, “To be honest, I have never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner.”
(The above anecdotes: courtesy of Robert McKenzie of Chicago.)
The difference between Washington D.C. and Cayman Islands (as “explained” by Jimmy Kimmel)
“Tax day is the day that ordinary Americans send their money to Washington, D.C., and wealthy Americans send their money to the Cayman Islands.”
How to solve the deficit (according to Jay Leno)
“And there are a lot of new taxes coming.
California state legislators want to solve our state’s giant deficit by taxing marijuana.
Meanwhile, Oregon wants to increase a tax on beer, while New York wants to tax Internet porn.
You know what this means?
By the end of spring break, this whole thing could be paid for.”
* * *
Well, the break is over for me.
I’ll go immerse myself in some more “suspenseful” tax code reading.
Thanks for visiting.